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Tim the giant Race
Tim (the giant) Race "The Triforce told of his return, his defeat was merely a delay, to the time after oblivion opened...when the sons of Ursox spilled their own blood... but no one wanted to believe... believe he even existed. But when the truth finally dawned... it gaunted fire... but there's one he fears...in his tongue he is Mike Puraat... Destroyer of worlds!" Verse 245-248, quoted from the Triforce bible. Tim was born as a normal boy, attending school in the Royal University of Physics in Earth's Capital City Hoofddorp. Tim was a regular sized boy with, by then, no friends. At the age of 9 his father, Pim the hobbit, mistakenly enlarged Tim to twice the size as a normal child while editing one of his photos. From that moment on he was known as Tim the giant, he received mysterious powers the day afterwards, such as being able to be a "Maatieh" and consume large amounts of feces, and other kinds of garbage. Tim, as they say in England, is literally "one heck of a fella". At the age of 16 Tim went to planet Nembula 14, because on Earth he walked everyone flat, just by standing on them. Earth is no place for Giants. Nembula 14 is ten times larger than Earth, it's also known as: Planets of the Giants. Tim was hoping to find creatures there who could understand, and accept him, the way he is. After spending thirty years there Tim was asked to join the most great and evil organization of all existence, the Triforce. He accepted, and since then rode planets in order to achieve his goals. Dick As far as the world's leading scientists are concerned, he has none. This might be a result of his mutation, and this is probably the reason of him being the only one of his kind. Some rumors say that the length of his penis was added to his total body length, which would make his dick something about 300 metres if it existed. Still, people are glad it doesn't exist. Who would want a 300 metre long dick hanging above their houses? Triforce Being a giant, Tim offered significant values to the Triforce. After his discovery on his home planet of Nembula 14, he was incorporated into the Triforce intergalactic army, and played a vital role in the battle for Ursox, showing heroic actions on numeral occasions. Tim is General of Battlefleet 40, which he lead into battle for thousands of times by now. Time is one of the strongest Triforce members but still isn't able to defeat the three epic Grand Master Lord Commander Leaders of the Triforce: Triangulus, Squarulus and Circulus. After some time, Tim found his job being way too boring and rebelled against the Triforce, Grand Master Lord Commander Leader Squarulus only laughed and sended Mike Puraat, Slayer of Gods, to teach Tim some manners. After that encounter Tim mysteriously seems to like his job even better than he did before. We don't know what happenend between Mike Puraat and Tim. Some say they played some Yahtzee, some say Mike beated the crap out of Tim, and others think that Mike and Tim share something odd with eachother, something called "Matties zijn", which means: "Non-Homosexual-relationship-with-someone-of-the-same-sex" or just "Friendship" in a very old language. Tim fought many battles for the Triforce. Tim also co-operated with Stan Willem the talking stone, which ended in a very weird social relationship, everytime Tim was accidently going to step on Stan, de guy would just change into a stone figure, which inflicted Tim some pain on his foot, nevertheless, the mission was a succes and the planet was conquered. But learning from this Team, the Triforce is not asking Tim and his 40th battlefleet to cooperate with others anymore, tim and his giant army, like to work alone, and that's what they do best. Tim held a heroic speech at the beginning of the battle of peanutbutter city: "Before us is a foe, that, like a reaper, has quickly, and without penalty, claimed so many of our loved ones. But you are not Triforce soldiers, you are Mikes. You are not thralls, you are free men, and what will decide this battle of battles is not swords or speeches, but what truly burns﻿ in your heart, something they can never possess not take from you! Should we meet our ends, take comfort in knowing that your names shall forever strike fear into their very souls! So ride with me, to eternal glory! Tim speaking to his scared division before the 234th total intergalactical war: "Shame on you. This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of you. Well, I'm not going home. We've come too far! And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. A day may come when the courage of men fails... but it is not THIS day. The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no further! I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You're going to work harder than you ever worked before. But that's fine, we'll just get tougher with it! If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination, failure is not an option. That's how winning is done! Believe me when I say we can break this army here, and win just one for the Gipper. But I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time: you've got to get mad. I mean plum mad dog mean. If you would be free men, then you must fight to fulfill that promise! Let us cut out their living guts one inch at a time, and they will know what we can do! Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! This is YOUR time! Seize the day, never surrender, victory or death... that's the Triforce Way! Who's with me? ...And gentlemen on Ursox now abed shall know my name is the Lord, when I tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our Cheese!" Family After some few years in the Triforce, Tim discovered he had more family than he thought. only on earth he already has 4 brothers, The Eiffel Tower, The Tower of Pisa, The Empire State Building, and The Dubai Hotel. They are his bloodrelated brothers, and in the time between the missions, Tim spends his time talking to them, and playing games with them. He once fell on one of his brothers, The Tower of Pisa, causing the tower to lean to the left. since then Tim and Pisa don't talk with eachother anymore. Achievements -Tim is the longest living man on earth, apart from his brothers -Tim has one of the shortest names, and is one of the largest guys... -Tim won: The Voice of Nembula 14 -Tim won: Move like Michael Jackson -Tim has the biggest dog that ever lived -Tim has his Spaceship certificate, however, he isn't able to get in a spaceship in the first place -Tim is champion crying Trivia -Tim's name backwards is Mit, which is a german adverb and means: With. -If you take the H out of the word With, it will give Wit, if you turn the W upside down, and then read the word backwords it will spell Tim. -Tim is able to pee out of his ass. -Tim has a 100metre sized toilet in his house -Tim isn't the same as Time -Tim is sometimes called: S-tim-pack (stimpack), which is a drug in the future -Tim is able to dance, but will then destroy the planet where he is on, so never does -Tim likes Dogs, Potatoes, Jokes, Midgets, Mike, His mom, bread, Frikadellen, Zombies and Michael Jacksons -Tim is able to climb from planet to planet, just by reaching out for it. -Tim once ate a small planet for breakfast, he put it in his Cereals. -Tim is the nephew of Goliath and Cyclope Ras -Tim likes good grades -Tim shows his qualities of crying only to those who ask for it -Tim sleeps on an Hammock between two planets -Tim is a Gangsta -Tim has bad music Taste -Tim eats music -Tim is able to breakdance, but then litterally breaks himself, which isn't fun -Tim banana